Minority Report

In week seven of the Shattering the Meme Novena, we focus on how to stop feeling like a victim.  Overcome feelings of being left out or treated unfairly by looking past the superficial differences and finding the more profound sense of connection that is available.

Do you have a chip on your shoulder because you feel that everybody else is ganged up against you?  Do you focus so intently on how you are different from everyone else (race, sexual orientation, gender, age, experience level) that you forget to notice how much more profoundly you are the same?  The minority meme is rife in creative professions because the criteria for success is so subjective.

If you feel insecure or dissatisfied, it’s way too easy to focus on that sense of isolation and to feel like you are a victim.  And minority status can be defined in many, many ways.  For example, you may feel like the young gun misunderstood by the senior members of your firm.  Or maybe you feel like you are more creative and loose in your work process than your hard-driving professional environment and that you are steamrollered, never getting an opportunity for your ideas to blossom.  Even the “usual”  kinds of minorities, based on race and gender  allow you to feel like you are not in control, thereby absolving you of all responsibility for your own success.  How do you really want the world to see you as a (fill in the blank) minority group, or as a talented creative person with the unique ability to (fill in the blank)?  I would suspect that it is the latter, so how do you stop allowing the former to shape your identity for yourself and others you interact with?

Birds of a feather
It’s important to see what you have in common with others in your workplace, to really work to find others with the unique and unusual traits that you share so that you have something to really bond over.  Even if you work at a firm where the culture is very innovation oriented and your co-workers and superiors are equally committed to thinking outside the box as you are, you will find an even greater affinity and sense of connection with someone who shares your trait for say, using storytelling techniques in the design process.  If you don’t feel that there is anyone you can connect with, can you identify others in your professional community who you can form an alliance or mentorship with?  Find your tribe and draw strength and energy (as well as validation) for the point of view and work style that you contribute to the profession. 

Step outside of the box
The less you define your self as any type of outcast, the less others will perceive you in that way.  Understand that what makes you different is what forms the basis of your identity.  You get to choose how you are perceived and defined by either playing into a stereotype, or playing into your strengths.  It’s critical to know the difference.  For example, I am an introvert.  Introverts are not the least bit shy, but we can seem rather aloof, as we tend to be more comfortable with an outside-looking-in approach to the world.  For many years of my life, I let others (first my extroverted mother, then teachers, then colleagues) make that core personality trait wrong.  I fought to push myself to be more extroverted, which of course, only led me to feel more like an awkward outsider.  Then my path crossed with Dr. John McIntosh, who headed up the urban design program for Arizona State University.  I was a young architect on the Phoenix Housing and Neighborhood Commission and looking to make a difference in my community and John saw that.  He helped me see how I could orchestrate the right collection of people in the room to take action on initiatives, not just talk about doing something.  Even more than that, he modeled unabashed introversion, while being a well respected and influential community leader.  I realized through my connection with him that I could do the work I wanted to do without having to change my personality.

Take a stand
As important as it is not to make yourself a victim when you feel less than connected to a group you work with, I am not insinuating that there is not real discrimination of every stripe going on in the world.  And that needs to be addressed, not ignored.  If looking for common ground is still not breaking the ice, or someone is willing to “play nice” and say things you want to hear to your face, but takes actions that show they view you otherwise, call them on that.  Ask them point blank to explain to you why they are not following through, or why the opportunities you have expressed a desire to achieve seem inaccessible.  Then, listen, really listen to their response.  If you receive constructive advice you can take action on, work with this person to put together a success plan with a timetable.  If you hear a response that creates self-doubt in you, makes you feel embarrassed for asking, sweeps your concern under the rug, or makes you feel inadequate, then your feelings of being a victim may very well be stemming from psychological manipulation called gaslighting (read my detailed post on that) or downright prejudice on the part of this individual.  In that case, you need to call a spade a spade and  leave that situation.


The purpose of looking past differences and finding common, shared traits is to help you feel less intimidated about building a network, finding a mentor and going for your goals big time.  The superstar of design that you admire is still just an designer and had to deal with the same basic challenges as you do every day.  Looking at them in that way, takes away the unapproachable “aura of success” and lets you see how you can best approach them to form a connection.

Feast Day 2013: You are Unlimited

Today the Patron Saint of Architecture celebrates three years of helping bring inspiration and creativity to the forefront of what we do as architects.  What started as a personal need to affirm that architecture could and should be so much more than the professional opportunities that I was experiencing has now become a worldwide network of people who share that same purpose.  Each year, I build on the original intent and expand the content offerings; going from this blog to a facebook page, Pinterest account and, in this past year, a book.  As I challenge myself to experiment with new media and outreach efforts, I hope to not only build a community of creatives, but to encourage all of us to stretch outside of our comfort zone. 

I’ve come to realize that the comfort zone is a pretty deceptive place.  It’s what we know.  So we operate within a set of self-imposed constraints that limit our thinking about what’s possible.  Many of these constraints come from our education and professional experiences, and have permeated our understanding about what it means to practice architecture.  That’s why this year’s novena will be Shattering the Meme.  We’ll spend nine weeks exploring things about the profession of architecture that we just assume “have” to be that way and work to stop accepting the limiting premise of each one. 

In conjunction with this novena, I am launching my first ever series of teleclasses.  Based on my book, Career Crisis, which launched in April, the teleclasses begin next week with a free introductory session.  I am excited to bring the theme of applying your passion and purpose meaningfully to your career alive in an interactive way.  It’s one thing to read something, but nothing compares to actually being able to work through issues in a more direct way.  As architects, we often feel that we can and should be able to do it all, from graphic design to marketing to management, so it is natural for us to  think we can be our own coaches as well.  But coaching by its very nature is not a DIY endeavor. A coach can help you to understand your unique situation in a whole different way.  You need someone to encourage you to think beyond what you think is possible and challenge you achieve things that you really want (because that's the scary stuff you won't ever push yourself to do).  Someone who will tell you when you are allowing yourself to get distracted by being “too busy”  or when you are losing focus. 

You can begin to experience what it's like to work with a coach in the teleclasses, where we will spend an hour on each career theme and also do some individual “laser coaching,” where I will take questions from participants and provide targeted advice live on the call. 

If you want more, you can always work with me one on one in my career coaching program, which is a three week long intensive process.  I’m also pleased to announce a new coaching offering this year:  I Need a Quickie is specifically tailored to architects who really want to seek out coaching, but are still afraid to invest in themselves in this way.  While nowhere near as intensive as a coaching program, this new offering will let you buy an hour of one on one time with me to talk about career issues important to you.  I’m hoping that by offering this bridge to coaching, many of you will see how valuable it really is to work with me or another coach to up your game.  Wherever you are in your career, however much or little you have accomplished, you can always set your sights higher and achieve even more. 

We kicked off last year with the Change the World Novena, where I profiled architects who have taken it upon themselves to make the world a better place through the built environment.  Many of you viewed those architects as people who were somehow different from you.  You thought, “What they’re doing is great, but I can’t do that.  Who am I to think I can change the world?”  This year I’m not accepting that excuse- you are a gifted, creative, person, or you wouldn’t be an architect.  Who are you not to use that talent?  Get unstuck and shatter all those memes that are convincing you otherwise!

What scares you as a creative?

Happy Halloween everyone!  Tradition has is that Halloween is the start of a transitional time when we are more connected to the spirit world- next stop is All Saints Day, when we look to our spiritual guides followed by All Souls Day, where we honor our ancestors, friends and mentors who have gone before us.

Keeping with the spirit of these three days, I wanted to take a little time as your virtual mentor to reflect on releasing the fears that hold you back, identifying your inspirations, and finding people willing to help guide you on your path to fulfillment. I love this infographic I found at Design Taxi for its humorous (precisely because it hits on some core truths) look at creative phobias.  That's the trick part- the way that we talk ourselves out of going for the things that we really want in our careers.

Now for the treat:  I am developing a series strictly related to mentoring and am looking for your input on the issues that are most important to you.  Please take some time to post in the comments section about your pressing career dilemmas.  You don't have to get personal or overly detailed (if you want to do that, please email me at thepatronsaintofarchitecture@gmail.com for a one-on one coaching session), just list some of the basic hobgobblins blocking your path to success.  Those career cobwebs' days are numbered.

You Can’t Get What You Don’t Know You Want

The art of being fully present is perhaps the hardest to master for architects, who are always referencing the past and planning the future (usually under some level of duress).  We get so caught up in achievement that we lose sight of why we’re paddling so hard toward that waterfall.  There are danger signs and people shouting to get our attention, and we don’t even notice them because we are so hell-bent on accomplishing- what?  As you ponder this and take a deep breath, consider this quote from legendary conductor Ben Zander on what it takes to deliver a transformational performance, "This is the moment- this is the most important moment right now.  Which is: we are about contribution.  That's what our job is.  It's not about impressing people.  It's not about getting the next job.  It's about contributing something."

When you get right down to it, that is the essence of who we are as architects.  It’s the essence of who all people are and we function in our highest and best states when our work has meaning and makes a positive difference in the world.  Cool-eh?  Easy, not so much.  That’s because to be fully present requires trusting that the outcome will be OK even if we don’t worry about it.  To be fully present means that you have clarity about yourself and your purpose in the world and everything you do is about realizing that purpose.  It’s kind of like applying the principles of Lean design to your life.  If you never pause to plan, to ask yourself what you really want, your life’s purpose will get lost.  Here’s how to set the right goals for yourself so you can get on with living your truth:

Restore balance
If you’re experiencing dissatisfaction in your career, but can’t figure out how to jumpstart change, it’s most likely because you have lost sight of your goals, or maybe never really had any in the first place.  I’m not talking about the expectations others have for you or the things you feel you “should” be doing.  Aspirations are not true goals.  Take some time to get to know yourself better and identify what moves you as an architect:

1. Read something inspirational about the built world each day.  You get to decide what that is, whether it’s a favorite blog (ahem), news item, or article.  The only rule is that it has to be uplifting, not anything that will upset or irritate you. Hint: It does not need to be “official architecture press.”  After a while, notice the patterns in your choices.
2. Try to spend one hour of each day in silence, uninterrupted.  Getting off of the treadmill of what you do all day with all of its disruption and conflict allows your thoughts to settle and you to become more conscious of them.
3. Begin each workday by sitting in stillness and set an intention for the day.  I know, I know, you’re busy, but jumping right into the fray deprives you of being able to see how the tasks before you can be used to nourish you and help you realize your goals.  Otherwise, they will create stress, which will deplete you. When you have clarity, you will express it in every action you take, which will reinforce and feed your creative identity.

Start asking
It’s hard to ask. It feels funny.  You could get turned down.  But I think the hardest part about asking is that you would have to know what you want or need and be able to clearly express that need.  We’d much rather stew about what we don’t have than figure out how to get it.  Most of us live in a haze of half-realized thoughts and our brain ping-pongs through them as we form judgments and assumptions about life.  We don’t even clearly realize our intentions much less put them out there. Do you expect others to know you well enough to just lay opportunities at your feet?  Worse, do you expect some fairy-godmother type mentor to tell you what you should do at every turn?  That passivity will at best get you what others feel is convenient for you to have, according to their purposes.  There’s a difference between saying “I want to be recognized, be a partner, win awards, get published,” and “I want to design spaces that make people better.”  One way will actually get you there.

Focus on who you are and what you bring, living in the moment taking time to know yourself and your identity as an architect and you really will change the world.

Mentoring and Modeling: What Architects can Learn from Montessori

Both role-model and tutor, mentorship is an awesome task.  We all want a mentor, and certainly flatter ourselves that it would be great to mentor someone else.  But what does that really mean?  Having sent my daughter to Montessori school, one definition I would offer is the concept of re-teaching.  According to the precepts of is founder, Maria Montessori, teachers are guides and classrooms are set up with children at three different grade levels.  Children master a skill by having it introduced by the teacher an then re-teaching it to their peers.  Passing on their newly-acquired knowledge enables the child-teacher to learn as much as the one receiving the lesson by reinforcing the previously learned concepts.  What a beautiful thought: to teach is to learn.  Through learning comes mastery, through mastery comes confidence, and through confidence comes leadership.  And so it is with mentoring.

We are all learners
Whether apprentice or master, we never stop learning.  Implicit in this is the idea that everyone has something to teach.  Even that intern. By drawing out the knowledge of the person you are mentoring, you help them to better understand themselves, what they know, and what matters to them. This allows you to coach them in pursuing activities and professional roles that will lead to their fulfillment.  It also allows the mentor to get a better understanding of his or her own professional values, and to question established ways of doing thing by asking “why.” Learning is a lifelong mission of acquiring knowledge and categorizing it in a way that makes sense and is useful to us. Growth and change are requirements for relevance.

Mentoring is not a relay race 
So often, we view mentoring purely as knowledge sharing, a ritual passing of the baton from one generation of architects to another.  That assumes that the mentor has all of the knowledge and power and that their career path is the “right” one.  It also assumes that our profession is static and that knowledge handed down will always have value. Especially in today’s culture, career paths are highly individual.  Mentors should be guides, asking questions not imposing rules. 

Mentoring is multi-directional
There is a common myth that mentoring requires a level of experience or specialized knowledge.  At some fuzzily defined point, we “cross over” from being mentored to mentoring.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Why do you think there are so many executive career coaches?  We all need an outside party to help us view ourselves from 35,000 feet and take stock.  Someone to challenge us and help us set new goals.  We grow by teaching others, learning from them and seeking out new knowledge and paths for ourselves.  No matter where you are in your career path, you should seek out mentorship.  The AIA has some valuable resources on its website http://www.aia.org/professionals/mentors/index.htm for helping you make professional development and learning a key part of your firm’s culture.

In your career path, who has inspired you?  Who can you work with today to get that kick in the pants to keep on growing?  Who can you reach out to, drawing out both their passion and purpose and your own?  Please share your experiences both as a mentor and being mentored.